Choices

Choices = Experiences

During the voyage of life, the choices we make will determine our experiences. Everyone can agree, we all would like to have positive life experiences. The daily choices you make will provide you with a result, either positive or negative. We also possess the ability to influence our environment with choice. Remember every action you take is a choice.

Take the time and think about everything you did yesterday. Here’s a example.

6:00 am Alarm went off, played with phone, got out of bed, drank coffee, ate breakfast, took a shower, got dressed, 7:00 am got in the car, listened to music, played with phone 8:00 am got to the job, focused on work, played with phone, scanned the internet, 12:00 pm took my lunch break, listened to music, played with phone, sat in the drive thru, ordered the super sized, shoveled it in my face, drove back to work, 1:00 pm got to work, played with phone, scanned the internet, pretended like I was working 5:00 pm got in car, listened to music, played with phone, decided drive thru looks good because I’m stuck in traffic, ordered the super sized, shoveled it in my face, 6:30 pm got home, cracked a beer, played with phone, watched tv, ate a snack, on the internet, did some chores, watched some porn, played with phone , watched more porn, played with phone, 10:30 brushed my teeth, laid in bed, played with phone, watched tv, went to sleep 1:00 am.

Seems like a pretty standard day for some. There’s a pattern here. Did this person make the best choices during that day? Could that person do anything better? Does this seem like a full filling day?

Take the time to assess yourself. In order to grow you need to create goals. The only way to create goals is to take time and reflect.

One of the first steps with achieving self-awareness, is to assess how you choose to look at yourself. 

If you constantly tell yourself that you’re never good enough, ultimately you will not succeed at your task and expect failure. The objective is to decide that you can create anything with the idea of old fashioned hard work and grit.

Every person is given a capacity to learn, execute and create. When you choose to focus on the negative attributes of oneself. You create a very narrow perception of yourself. You will be consumed by the negative portions of yourself. Subconsciously when we focus our energy on all these negative attributes. You hinder any kind of individual growth or self worth. Choosing to focus on more positive attributes will allow you to find, nurture and grow as an individual.

Now there are limitations. Limitations don’t necessarily mean failure.  Example an elderly man can’t expect to win an Olympic gold medal for the hundred yard swim, but can be exceptional to the average. With his dedication and hard work, his ability has positive weight and value.

Every moment we exists, we have the ability to mold ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. Death is the ultimate completeness. If you have breath, you still have choice, with choice you will have experiences, with these experiences you will hopefully have fulfillment. I’ve interviewed many people young and old on their death bed. Everyone has told me the key to life is valued in relationships and family. I’ve envisioned myself on numerous occasions about what I would ask myself when I die. I always return to the same question, did I do everything to my best?

Remember self-doubt and negative thinking will only create poor life experiences. You have the key to unlock any doors in the future. Don’t dwell on the past, live in the present, and mentally materialize the future.

Take time to be mindful. We live in a world full of distraction. Make the time to reflect and process. We are blessed at this moment in time to have the ability to still make choices. One day the idea of choice may not exist. Think about it.

Something I would like you to do. Is to find a quiet place, with a mirror, pen and paper. I want you to look at yourself. Reflect on the outside and inside self. I would like you to be true to yourself and write down the positive and negative things. Example I’m overweight, I’m selfish, I’m depressed, I’m a bad parent, I’m intelligent, I’m kind, I’m funny, I’m honest, I’m charismatic etc.…        

Then I want you to look at how you can work on all the negative ideas of self.

  1. Overweight- I can work out and eat healthier.
  2. Selfish-I can be more giving with my time.
  3. Depressed-work on growing and focusing on the positive attributes of myself.  
  4. Bad parent-spend more time with my kids, teach them, control my emotions, make them feel safe, and actually talk to them.

With anything you want to change about yourself, start small. Create accomplishments with small goals and ultimately you will work your way through them. Every one of these examples of negative ideas of yourself is a choice. Focus on the positive, the goal, and embrace the work ahead of you.

We all have the capacity for fulfillment. I repeat, take the time to be mindful. As the world titled body builder CT Fletcher says,”I command you to grow.”

Remember Mind+Heart+Body=Soul

Simple Man Acoustic Cover

The Joys of Childhood.

Boys Will Be Boys

Some of my fondest memories stem from my childhood. I can remember times of laughter that brought me to tears. Days where I was submerged and exsisted in my imagination. Exploring the outdoors, riding bikes, or building with my hands. Looking back, this period in life was the only time of true freedom. Free to play, explore, and create. Something that can feel foreign now. I was introduced to my best friend in 2nd grade. Sitting across from each other, our relationship began with a simple laugh. From that point on, we maintain a love for each other that will be forever lasting. I feel blessed to have had the childhood that I experienced. A hard working and loving mother, surrogate father figures and families, and friends that played and loved just as hard.

I decided to record my kids playing, with me singing,”Simple Man” in the background. Lyrically I’m drawn to this songs message and hope my kids can understand its meaning one day. It’s amazing to hear the laughter coming out of these boys. As you watch these two brothers playing hard and then wrestling. Its funny to see them go from laughing, to serious, and back to laughing. I pray these boys continue to have a life long relationship with each other. For now I can sit back, reflect, and enjoy watching these boys develop into men.

Hopefully one day, my children will find this video and it will take them back to a happy memory in this story called life.

Notes to Self- What is Love?

What is love? Definition-an intense feeling of deep affection. 

What is affection? Definition-a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.  

What is love? Definition-a great interest and pleasure in something.

https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/love

What are the biological  responses within our body? 

Our brains release neurotransmitters and chemicals such as Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Oxytocin, and low  levels of Serotonin.  These chemicals are responsible for the pleasure response.

Dopamine main neurotransmitter released within Substantia Nigra  and Ventral Tegmental, which is located within the midbrain. There are other locations but these two are the most prominent.

Love can be described as a combination of emotions, feelings, attitude, energy and beliefs.

Let’s look at breaking down the words, “ I love you”.

Initially the statement starts with IMe or myself comes first.

Then the noun lovewhich is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.

Then ends with you.

What are things that can make us feel love?

It can be a combination of being physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually  attracted, something dependable, comforting, giving or selfless, fun, safe, entertaining, strong, providing, etc…….

So if we look at the word love in the statement I love you. It’s a combination of things or attributes someone feels is positive to them. 

A new way to phrase I love you.

You complete me.

and/or

You fulfill me.

I love you for completing me, I love you for giving to me, I love you for fulfilling me etc…

Can love be unconditional?

I do not  believe we as humans have that ability. Maybe unconditional love can be found in theology with god-like figures but I do not believe humans or animals have the capacity to give unconditional love.

Why do we say statements such as I love you, when we have such a difficult time defining a simple word like love?

It appears through lack of education and ignorance. We blindly  perform acts on basic habits and unknown behaviors. 

General notes

Looking over my notes it appears I cannot find anything negative about love. It appears love is a positive attribute to life. Love can be an experience and also subjective. If something wants love, it maybe best to give love. In order to give love we must have the ability to receive love. Love can be a choice. Love can bring on happiness. Love is pure. Love can tie people together. Most all major religions base there belief system on love.

To be continued…